First Impressions: Your Silent Superpower

Dawn Westrum
Nov 11
2 min read

You only get one shot at a first impression. The problem? Most people waste it fumbling with their phone, mumbling through introductions, or standing like a nervous flamingo.

Here’s the truth: before you say a single word, people have already decided whether they like you, trust you, and want to keep talking to you. And they’re basing that judgment almost entirely on body language cues.

The 7-Second Rule

Research shows it takes about seven seconds (sometimes less) for people to size you up. Those seconds matter more than your résumé, your witty story, or your carefully curated outfit.

What matters most?

Posture – Shoulders back, chest open, chin level. It signals confidence without arrogance.
Eye Contact – Enough to show you’re present, not so much you look like a serial killer.
Micro-Smiles – A small, genuine smile softens your presence and invites trust.

The “Warmth + Competence” Equation

Vanessa Van Edwards teaches that first impressions hinge on two things:

Warmth → Do I like you?
Competence → Do I respect you?

Too much competence without warmth? You look cold and intimidating. Too much warmth without competence? You risk looking flaky. The sweet spot is a balance: approachable and capable.

Don’t Forget Your Voice: Up vs. Down

Your intonation is just as powerful as your handshake. Here’s why:

Ending sentences on a “down” note (your voice lowers slightly) makes you sound confident and definitive.
Ending sentences on an “up” note (like a question?) can make you sound unsure of yourself — even if you’re just stating a fact. Like your name.

Example:

“I’m really excited to be here.” ↓ signals you are confident, grounded.
“I’m really excited to be here?” ↑ seems like you’re asking for permission to exist.

Pay attention to your endings. A simple down-turn in tone signals certainty and helps people take you seriously, right from hello.

Quick Fixes Before Your Next First Impression

Put your phone away before walking in.
Enter with calm energy — people feel it before you speak.
Lead with a smile, not an apology.
Practice lowering your intonation at the end of key sentences.

Bottom Line

First impressions aren’t about being perfect. They’re about sending the right cues so people know you’re worth remembering. Because like it or not, your body — and your voice — speak louder than your words.

Want to Learn More?

Listen to Vanessa Van Edwards with Diary of a CEO on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHUrdELKjDw